Archive for May, 2012

Is there a wound? – Part 1

Is there a wound? – Part 1

One of the things we help guys with that come through Refuge is, we try to help them pinpoint childhood wounds. Normally a child is going to receive some type of wound from their parents. Nine out of ten times the child doesn’t even know he or she has been hurt. We are born into relationships, and a break in the relationship occurs when something is said to us which causes an emotional wound or when something is done to us. Some examples are, rejection, abandonment, any type of abuse (Physical, Mental, Sexual). All of these are major breaks, and normally a child tries and bridge back to the parent for their need of love, acceptance, worth/approval and security, but often the bridge doesn’t get fixed by the one that broke it. If the one who broke the bridge asks forgiveness from the child, shows love etc., the bridge is repaired. If the bridge is not repaired the break causes guilt, shame, anger, and fear. With all wounds comes pain, and either the child or now the adult is dealing with pain due to a wound they received. The only person that can heal that wound now is Jesus, but many people turn to other things to try and deal with the hurting and pain. This is what happened in my life, porn became my drug to help deal with the pain, but it only caused more pain. It wasn’t until I fully believed that Jesus could and would heal me of my wounds that I started to have freedom over my sin. I received a lot of wounds growing up, and Jesus is healing them. One of the things that I do now with my son is, I will ask him, “has daddy done anything to hurt you or make you up set?” I want to make sure I have not left a wound. There is also many of times that I have to ask for his forgiveness because I got to upset with him. I want to make sure I keep that bridge intact. As parents we have to sit down with our kids and ask them some tough questions about ourselves about what we have done. We may not like what they tell us, but it’s better than them not telling us and they grow up hurting and suffering in the future for something we could have fixed.


I will teach Your children….

This morning I watched my little man graduate from pre-school, and as I was driving back to work I was once again surrendering my son to God. The world he is growing up in is the same broken world that I grew up in, but it seems like things are just more deadly these days. Early this morning as I sat with my band of brothers and one of my brothers shared how his high school daughter was being bullied at school and having a hard time with friends. Another dad a few weeks ago shared how his high school daughter has been dealing with seeing same sex couples interact at school. With leading Refuge I’ve been doing a lot of research on pornography and it’s sad to see parents crying out for help because their 9, 10, 11, 12 year old is battling a porn addiction. I fully understand what their child is going through because I was 11 when I started down that deadly path. Children are getting exposed younger and younger to evil things, and a lot of times it is through another child or teenager that exposes things to our children, whom we are trying to protect. Every day I have to surrender my little man over to God. I have to hold onto God’s promises, God tells us in Isaiah 54:13, “I will teach Your children My ways and give them great peace.” I know the best thing for my son is a deep intimate relationship with God, and God has to be the one to grab his heart and transform him. It is great comfort to know that God will teach my son His ways and will give him great peace. Have you surrender your child over to Him?

What Are You Teaching Your Child?

In today’s society the ability to access pornography is so easy. With cell phones and the internet pornography can be accessed anywhere. Children are being exposed younger and younger to the more extreme hard-core images and videos of pornography. If this exposer goes uncheck children are developing porn addictions at earlier ages and this is carrying over into their high school and college years. Untreated this addiction is brought into the marriage secretly and over time the marriage and now new family is destroyed. Pornography rapes the mind; the human brain was not designed to handle the major dose of chemicals the brain unleashes when one is viewing porn. Studies have shown there is damage done to the brain and brain’s chemistry is altered when one is exposed to pornography. An addiction to pornography is chemically identical to a heroin addiction. What are you doing to teach your children about the dangers of pornography? This is not a onetime conversation with your child, but continuous ongoing conversation.

%d bloggers like this: