Step 3 – Understanding the Healing Process

I would love to tell you that the healing process is fast, easy and painless. If I told you that I would be lying. To be completed honest with you, it’s long, it’s hard, and it hurts. I’ve been walking down the road of healing for a number of years, and when I get to the end of the road my next step will be walking up to the gates of Heaven. The healing process is a lifelong journey and is a road that you do not have to walk alone. There are others walking down the same path you are on, so willing to give a helping hand, because they know and understand the struggle. Also Jesus is on that path walking with you. In Refuge our formula for healing is simple. Receiving forgiveness from God, confess our sins to others, forgiving those who have wounded us, and asking forgiveness to those who we have hurt. Now a lot of people cannot do this right away, and that is ok. I couldn’t have done this right away when I started my healing journey. We want people to start thinking through these issues and encourage them to pray through these steps when they want to. We also encourage people to prayer through these things with another person they trust. Let’s look at them a little bit deeper. 1 John 1: 9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” God’s grace rocks my world, all of my thinking. To be honest I have such a hard time wrapping my mind around God’s grace and the love that comes with it. God says to confess your sins, and He will forgive our sins and purify us. No strings attached. Confess and your sins are forgiven. Not only are they forgiving, God forgets about them. Isaiah 43:45 says, “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” It’s amazing how God looks at our forgiven sin and how we look at our forgiven sin. I often take my eyes off the grace of God and just see my sins and my failures, and my brokenness. When God looks at me, He sees Christ’s blood, He sees His child standing there, holy, forgiven, clean. God’s grace is mind-blowing. When we confess our sins to God we don’t have to keep confessing them over and over. Once they are confessed they are forgiven no matter how will feel. When confessing our sexual brokenness to God get it all out. Confess every sexually sin you have committed to God that you can remember, and ask God to show you sins that you still needed to confess. We don’t want to leave anything in the dark. This is an ongoing process because God will start to bring up things we have done that we have forgotten about. James 5:16 says “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you maybe heal.” Confessing our sins to another person is tied directly into are healing. Same thing as the first step, get it all out. Now do you need to call up someone every time you remember a past sin? No but to continue to walk through the healing process we don’t need to keep secrets. One way to not have secrets is to have accountability and we will talk about this in a later blog. We need to come to a place where we can forgive those who have hurt us. Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” This can take a long time and is not an easy place to get to at first, but I believe other time one can get to a place to forgive those who have hurt them. In order to do that we need to have a good understanding of what forgiveness is and is not, and we will talk about this in a later blog as well. If we don’t forgive those that have hurt us that hurt or wound will never truly heal. God has to bring us to a place in our lives where He has healed that wound then we need to forgive those that have put it there. Lastly, we need to be able to ask forgiveness of the ones we have hurt with our struggles. It could be our spouse, our kids, who ever. We need to be able to ask for their forgiveness, and they may not be able to forgive. God has to work in their hearts in that case, but you know you have come to a place where you are sorry for what you have done to them and are seeking their forgiveness. Once again, healing is a long road, and at times a very painful road, but to be healed we have to walk it.


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