Archive for March, 2013

The Deep Secrets of our Heart

I think we would all be scared if we really knew what was going on inside people’s hearts, and what people really did struggle with.  We are so good at hiding our struggles and our sins, and this is what the enemy wants us to do.  For people who are struggling with sexually purity issues they listen and believe the lies that they are the only ones struggling with those issues, and they would be judged and looked down upon if someone really knew what they were struggling with.  Therefore, they keep the struggle lock down deep inside and it just destroys them.  They are scared to let someone come into their broken world so they try to manage their sin.  A friend of mine was sharing with me the other day that he was going through a guy’s computer that had just passed away trying to find any family members that he could notify about his passing.   My friend was shock at all the sexually explicit emails he was finding in this computer.   He said, Steven I had no idea he was struggling with this stuff.  All of us have dark secrets and struggles and God wants to heal us.  One of the things that helps in the healing process is getting our secrets and struggles out into the open.   I know for me personal there was so much freedom when I got all of my dark secrets out.  I have no secrets with my wife, and as painful as it was for me to sit and share with her my struggles, sins, it was one of the most freeing things I have done.  I’ve also sat down with another couple who was helping me and we had a time of prayer I just confessed my sins and got all the dark nasty secrets out.  James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”   There is such a healing that comes with getting our crap out into the open.  When I meet with guys who are interested in going through Refuge I always share my story and my struggles with them first.  It breaks the ice and they realize they are not the only one.  The first and hardest step in the healing processing over this struggle is to let someone into your world.  If you’re at that place where you need to let someone in and you are not too sure who to talk with, pray and ask God to show you who to share your struggle with.  It needs to be someone you can trust, someone who truly understands the Gospel.   This is the person that can help you, and not the person who is going to judge you.  When I was in the battle with my struggle I was seeing this Christian counselor and I had opened up and shared my struggle with him.  I remember one week as I was sharing I told him I had struggle that week, and he blasted me for falling.  I realize today that he didn’t understand the Gospel, I never saw him again after that day.  Know I could have made the choice to say the hell with it, I am not going to share my story with anyone else, but I am glad God didn’t give up on me.  God has brought people into my life that has help me overcome my struggle with sexual sins, people I have shared my story with, and people who meet me where I was and God has brought healing to my life.  It all started by letting people come into my world.  I was enslaved for 20 plus years to porn and other sexually sins.  I just got to a point where I was tired of struggling and I didn’t care who I told and knew I need help.  I just want to encourage you that you don’t have to battle this struggle by yourself.  There are people who love you and will love you through this battle and will get out onto the battle field with you.  If you are struggling pray and ask God to show you who you can talk to.  Ask God to start bring those people into your life that can help you.  This is an issue that you cannot keep inside; it will eat you from the inside out, and will take every good thing from you.  This is a beast that you cannot control, it wants to destroy your life, but it will keep telling you it is the greatest thing for you.


Our Identity – Part 1

To start to understand our identity and who we become in Christ we have to first look at the makeup of man in general. Man consists of two parts, a body and a Soul or spirit. (Matthew 10:28, Ecclesiastes 12:7, Romans 8:10, 1 Corinthians 5:5, 7:34, 2 Corinthians 7:1, Ephesians 2:3, Colossians 2:5) Our body is our physical realm which houses our soul/spirit. Our bodies allow us to move, talk, and interact with others. Our soul/spirit determines our identity. There are only two identities when God looks at someone. God see either an Adam or Christ, one who is spiritually dead, “Adam” or spiritually alive, “Christ.” What do I mean by that? Man’s (woman’s) basic problem at birth is that we are separated from God and therefore without life. We are spiritually dead when we are born into this world. When Adam and Eve where in the Garden of Eden God gave Adam one commandment. Genesis 2:16 -17 says, “And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” In Genesis 3 we see the temptation of satan and the sin of Adam and Eve. When satan tempts us he is using deception (lies) to make us think differently about ourselves and who God really is. Jesus in John 8:44 called him the father of lies. Look at Eve’s response to satan in Gen 3:2-3, “And the women said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, “You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.'” God never said they could not touch the fruit, He told them they could not eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. So already we see Eve’s mind being distorted by the temptation of satan. Look at verse 6 of Genesis, “so when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise…” Eve saw that the fruit was good for food, pleasing to the eye, desirable, she then ate it. Satan always makes sin look good, pleasing, fulfilling, but in the end it is death. Eve took the fruit and ate it, then gave the fruit to Adam who ate it as well. I think Adam sinned long before he took the fruit because he was passive, and did not try to stop Eve. When Adam took the fruit death comes into the world and into the human race. God choose Adam to represent the whole human race. Romans 5:12 says, “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned.” Since we are all in Adam when he sinned, we sinned (Romans 5:12), when Adam died spiritually, we died spiritually (Romans 5:15), when Adam was condemned we were condemned (Romans 5:18) and when Adam became a sinner we became a sinner (Romans 5:16). We become sinners at the very moment of conception (Psalm 51:5). That word die in Gen 2: 17 means we die physical, spiritually and eternally. The reason there is death in the world and sickness is because of sin. So because of sin our bodies will die. When we are born we are spiritually dead and separated from God. Isaiah 59: 2, “but your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.” Also see Romans 3:10-18. Romans 6: 23 says, “For the wages of sin is death…” Our payment for the sins we commit is death, an eternally death. If we stay spiritually separated from God when we die we will be eternally separated from God in hell. BUT. The rest of Romans 6:23 says….but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. God knew Adam was going to sin before the foundation of the world, and God knew He would have to send His son to die. Christ died on the cross for our sins, He took the death that was meant for us, so that we may live and have victory of our sin here on earth and to live with Him for eternity. So when God looks at us He either sees His children those in Christ, or those who have rejected Him, Adam.

The Heart of the Matter – Step 5

As we’ve been looking at these different steps in the healing process now we have to start looking at the heart of the matter for our healing. What is the main key to our healing and freedom? Our heart. Our heart is the key; it is where the battle takes place. If you’re a believer you have to come to an understanding of who you are in Christ, and you have to understand in your heart who you are. If you’re not a believer, my prayer is you will start to see God’s grace in the identity that He gives to His children. Not only that, but you will start to taste and smell the sweetness of His grace. Now satan can make you think that looking at porn and having sex is a lot better than God and his grace, but if your completed honest with yourself, there is still something missing that porn and sex cannot fill. Over the next several blogs we are going to be looking at our identity in Christ and who we are to God. Understanding our identity is understanding the Gospel.

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