How much do you hate yourself?

self-hateHow much do you hate your life, hate yourself, hate your sin?  A lot of people would say this is an inappropriate question to ask yourself.  To have self-hatred is wrong and this would raise some concerns with certain people.  This morning as I was praying I lead with the words, “Lord, I completed despise myself, and hate who I am.  I hate everything about me.”  I was in tears as I was confessing sin, confessing how much I hate my flesh, how much I hate myself.  About 40 minutes later I was reading a section from Andrew Murray’s book, The Secret Of The Cross, who says, “It is not till we hate this life with a deadly hatred that we will be ready to give up the old nature to die the death that is its due.” Murray was speaking this in reference to the words our Lord spoke to the great crowds, Luke 14:26-33 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. 27 Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”  Why does Christ go to this extreme of having to hate ourselves to be His disciples?  Murray answers this question, “Because the sinful nature we have inherited from Adam is indeed so vile and full of sin that, if our eyes were only opened to see it in its true nature, we would flee from it as loathsome and incurably evil. The flesh is enmity against God; the soul that seeks to love God cannot but hate the ‘old man’ which is corrupt through its whole being.  Nothing less than this, the hating of our own life, will make us willing to bear the cross and carry within us the sentence of death on our evil nature.”  If you despise yourself, have a hatred for your sin, then your moving in the right direction.  The Lord confirmed for me to have these feelings of hatred for myself is not a bad thing. It’s a good thing. We must continue to deny ourselves, deny our flesh, and seek hard after the Lord.  We are broken, broken people and Jesus is our only hope.  





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