Archive for April, 2017

The Gift of Sex in Marriage – Procreation – Parenting # 5

9d7e03f3b810d5eec6124b191251ad99Today we are looking at procreation in how it fits into the aspect of holiness being the number one key to marriage.  Sex is a gift the Lord has given to us in the confines of marriage.  Sex outside of marriage is wrong and should not be practice because God has designed sex to be between a husband and wife in marriage.  When it comes to sex in marriage the scriptural goal is mutual satisfaction.   1 Corinthians 7: 3-5 says, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.  The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.  Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourself to prayer.  Then come together again so that satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”  If mutual satisfaction is the scriptural goal for sex in marriage let’s answer the question, “Can we do ____________ when it comes to sex?”  You can fill in the blank with what ever you would like.  Let’s look at some guidelines to answer this question.  The Bible doesn’t give grounds of what is right and wrong between a husband and wife as long as there is mutual satisfaction.  In other words there is not a list that says you can do these things in sex but not this.  If satisfaction is not mutual and one pushes their own agenda for their pleasure, sin has now entered into the picture.  An example of this would be if  a couple is trying something new while having sex and then one spouse says no, I don’t want to do this, that act stops immediately.  If what doesn’t feel comfortable to one spouse and is being pushed by the other spouse for their satisfaction sin has now entered.  Ephesians 4:2 says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” We have to be gentle with our spouses.  If satisfaction is taking outside of the oneness of the body sin has entered into the picture.  This means bring anything into our sex life from the world.  Example would be wanting to watch porn together.  This is wrong.  God wants us to enjoy each others bodies and have fun as long as there is mutual satisfaction.  The book, Song of Songs in the Bible is a very detail intimate love song between a husband and wife.  The Bible also gives warning against stepping out marriage to have our sexual desires met.  God’s Word is very clear on adultery. Here are some guidelines when a couple is praying through and talking about their sex life.  Does what we want to do build our marriage up?  Is it loving my spouse? Is it beneficial to our marriage?  Can what we want to do master us outside of marriage? Does what we want to do glorify God and lead to holiness?  God wants us to enjoy sex with our spouses, so seek the Lord and pray and ask Him to help guide your sex life.  Sex is an act of worship when it’s done in marriage and when there is mutual satisfaction this leads to holiness in our marriage.  In our next blog we will be looking at how the out pouring of love is a demonstration of what the Lord is doing in and through us and how this leads to holiness.


The Gift of Sex in Marriage – Wholeness – Parenting # 4


As we continue our parenting series we are looking at holiness being the number one key to marriage and holiness is brought about from wholeness, procreation, and a demonstration of love.  Today we are going to focus on how wholeness fits into holiness.

God created Eve to be a helper to Adam, Eve was created to be a completion for Adam.  Man is not completed by himself, God uses our spouses to help complete each other (Genesis 2: 18-25).  Now God does call some to be single and not to marry and I believe this person will be completed in a special way by the Lord.  Now for all of us who are married know how hard marriage is and how much work goes into a marriage.  Paul tells us that those who marry will face many troubles (1 Corinthians 7: 28).  Wholeness is the “completing” of two people, however in order for there to be a “completing” there had to be a separation. Genesis 2: 24 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  For wholeness to take place a separation has to happen between each person in the marriage (the man and woman) from their parents.  This is not necessary a physical separation, or a geographical separation.  This separation is a psychologically separation, loyalties have changed.  This separation also includes all other sexually relationships. God’s intention was, is and still is when two are joined together they must have no other sexual relationships of mind or body with anyone else.  This is why Jesus’ words in Matthew 5: 28 are so hard when He talks about lust. “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” This goes for the ladies as well.

This wholeness we are talking about is still not a physical union, but according to Robertson McQuilkin is, “The completing of another in a love relationship that embraces all life.”  All life means the sharing of all aspects of life.  Our hobbies, dreams, struggles, pain, hurts, disappointments, joy, happiness.  This is a oneness of heart and mind.  A physical union (sex) cannot bring the potential of oneness unless there is an oneness of spirit.  Sex at the root is a psychological phenomenon that happens in our brain.  Wholeness comes from a deep love for each other and out of this love comes a sharing of interest, activities, purposes and goals.  This is why there has to be such a high level of commitment and communication in marriage.  Having this level of wholeness brings about a holiness in our marriages.  Wholeness is the grounds for procreation and the demonstration of love which we will be looking at next.

The Gift of Sex in Marriage – Parenting #3


Do we as a married couple or single parent have a healthy view of God’s gift of sex to be able to teach our children about the gift of sex in a marriage relationship?  When it comes to relationships many believe sex is the most important thing in the relationship. Due to this thinking people have a distorted view of the gift of sex and this leads to sin issues and struggles.  If we look in the Old Testament, sex immorality was the 2nd most serious issue the Israelites dealt with next to idolatry and sex is a form of idolatry.  In the New Testament, sex immorality was considered the number one issue the Church was/is dealing with in my opinion.  Paul address this issue in his letters to the churches of the NT.  In the book of Revelation Jesus address the churches to avoid sexual immorality.  Marriage is very important to the Lord.  The Bible starts off with a wedding feast (Adam and Eve) in the middle is a intimate love song (Song of Songs) Christ’s first miracle is at a wedding and the Bible ends with a wedding feast (Christ returning for His bride).  What is the purpose of marriage?  The purpose to marriage is holiness brought about from wholeness, procreation and a demonstration of love.  Also, God has designed marriage to between a man and a woman.  This is very clear in Scripture.  Over the next three blogs we will look at wholeness, procreation, and a demonstration of love individually.

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