The Gift of Sex in Marriage – Wholeness – Parenting # 4


As we continue our parenting series we are looking at holiness being the number one key to marriage and holiness is brought about from wholeness, procreation, and a demonstration of love.  Today we are going to focus on how wholeness fits into holiness.

God created Eve to be a helper to Adam, Eve was created to be a completion for Adam.  Man is not completed by himself, God uses our spouses to help complete each other (Genesis 2: 18-25).  Now God does call some to be single and not to marry and I believe this person will be completed in a special way by the Lord.  Now for all of us who are married know how hard marriage is and how much work goes into a marriage.  Paul tells us that those who marry will face many troubles (1 Corinthians 7: 28).  Wholeness is the “completing” of two people, however in order for there to be a “completing” there had to be a separation. Genesis 2: 24 says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  For wholeness to take place a separation has to happen between each person in the marriage (the man and woman) from their parents.  This is not necessary a physical separation, or a geographical separation.  This separation is a psychologically separation, loyalties have changed.  This separation also includes all other sexually relationships. God’s intention was, is and still is when two are joined together they must have no other sexual relationships of mind or body with anyone else.  This is why Jesus’ words in Matthew 5: 28 are so hard when He talks about lust. “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” This goes for the ladies as well.

This wholeness we are talking about is still not a physical union, but according to Robertson McQuilkin is, “The completing of another in a love relationship that embraces all life.”  All life means the sharing of all aspects of life.  Our hobbies, dreams, struggles, pain, hurts, disappointments, joy, happiness.  This is a oneness of heart and mind.  A physical union (sex) cannot bring the potential of oneness unless there is an oneness of spirit.  Sex at the root is a psychological phenomenon that happens in our brain.  Wholeness comes from a deep love for each other and out of this love comes a sharing of interest, activities, purposes and goals.  This is why there has to be such a high level of commitment and communication in marriage.  Having this level of wholeness brings about a holiness in our marriages.  Wholeness is the grounds for procreation and the demonstration of love which we will be looking at next.


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