How To Protect Your Children From Pornography – The Initiative – Parenting #8

parentscornerParent’s, we have to be the primary provider of information for our children when it comes to marriage, dating, sex, love, and pornography.  After we have examine our own hearts in the area of purity we have to get educated.  We need to do our homework. There are lots of good resources out there and so not to fully reinvent the wheel you can check out those resources on our Refuge website:

We are going to help you take those resources and implement with your children over the next several blogs.  As your studying and doing your homework get connected with other parents.  Parents need to be helping each other.  Also, it is so important to know the parents of your children’s friends.  Do you really know the parents of kids friends? Exposure to pornography can happen at a friends house.  This is why it is so important for your children to know what to do if they come across a “bad” picture, pornography.  A friend of mine came to me because he was struggling with how to handle his step-son. My friends step-son spent every other weekend at his fathers house and there in that house is no concern over purity.  There is not a tech plan in place at that house, and there is no concern to what is been watched on the internet or T.V.  I told my friend you have to teach your step-son about what to do if he comes across pornography and that your voice has to be louder than the fathers if their is no concern on what is being watched. My friend new the parent. Get to know the parents of your children, remember you are their protector.  I was first exposed to porn by spending the night at a friends house, and it was down hill from there for over 20 years, because pornography became my drug. Before you go and let your child spend the night at a friends house or go off and play, ask yourself, do I really know the parents, is my child safe?

Get ACTIVELY involved in your children’s lives.  We need to check our priorities.  Josh McDowell said, Truth without a relationship leads to rebellion.”  We will not be able to teach our children if we don’t have a relationship with them.  Dads this is especially important for us.  If your a Christian it should be God, your wife and then your children.  If anything (work, play, etc.) comes before God, your wife and your children you need to repent and make some changes.  Men, are we keeping our work hours in check, is our wife’s and children’s love tank full before we head out to play?  How is your relationship with your kids?  We have to be able to teach purity in love and with grace and if the relationship has been damaged we need to repair it.  This point is so huge, because most addictions what ever the addiction is, (porn, drugs, etc.) is just a symptom of something going on much deeper in the heart.  A wound can be producing the addiction, and most wounds come from those who are the closest to us.  Over time the wound produces so much pain the child now older must look for a way to deal with the pain, so they turn to the flesh to deal with the wound.  At the end of this blog I will leave the links for more information on wounds.

Sit down with your child, teenager, young adult and ask them, “Where have I hurt you, where have I failed you?”  Have I done anything to you to make you upset or angry? Be prepare to take some hits.  I ask this of my 10 year old all the time because I want to make sure there is not a wound there I don’t know about. Most of the time the parent doesn’t even know they hurt their child.  After your child tells you where and how you have hurt them, thank them for telling you.  Tell them you will come back and talk about this.  You at this time need to go and process what they have said, repent, and go back to your child and ask for their forgiveness.  What this is doing is rebuilding the bridge.  This is so important.

In our next blog we will be looking at how to start creating an environment of openness so we can start talking about purity with our kids.

Links to the wound:


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