Just Stop…..Just Stop

Recovery is a life long process.  When I meet with new guys who are just starting their recovery process I tell them the recovery process is not six months to a year, is not 3 to 5 years, its a life long process.  Healing takes time and is a process we must go through until we die.  I’ve been on the road of recovery for a very long time now, and there are good days, and there are bad days, were the pain is very fresh and very real again.  As painful as it is I never want to lose the pain.  God uses it to remind me of where I have been.  This morning God told me to “Just spend time with Me.”  5 simply words that hit pretty hard.  I’ve been running a hundred miles an hour and realized I’ve been running a hundred miles an hour without spending a lot of time with the Lord.  I am tired.  With those 5 little words the Lord spoke to me. I have to stop and look that I have fallen back into some old ruts, some old thinking habits again.  I’ve had to question, why am I working so many hours at work? Some weeks I am putting 50 plus hours in and doing 10 plus hours of ministry on top of that, why?  Why with every free hour I am think of what can I get done for work, or what do I need to get accomplished for Refuge.  Why? Because I am looking for those things to fill me.  I avoid the note to myself in my office that reminds me “this job is not your identity.”  This week, I was dreading to having to start work back, why, because I’ve allowed myself to fall back into old thinking patterns and I am flat tired.  In our recovery, we sometimes think we always have to be working on our self’s, or having to go to this meeting or that meeting.  Sometimes we always feel like we have to be doing something for the Lord.  We are able to do things for the Lord by the overflow of what God puts in us.  Meeting with the Lord, is how God fills us, “puts in us” His love, compassion, mercy, grace, meeting with the Lord is how we fill up so we can go out and help others.  I have to confess, I’ve been running a long time without stopping and drinking the full glass of water to restore my soul. Forgive me Lord, and for those I help, forgive me. If your walking down the road of recovery make sure your are getting what you need personally, and are not heading down the road of burn out because that could open up the door to temptation to follow back into our struggles again.